At the Mass we weekly make a public confession of sin. I tend to come to it rather unprepared. I don’t really consider what I am about to say until the Deacon says, “Let us confess our sins against God and our neighbors, devoutly kneeling.”
The confession starts out, “Most merciful Father, we confess…” We confess? I mean, I don’t know what everyone else has done this week, but I know I haven’t done anything so bad as to need to confess. Except for that time when I did…. Oh yeah, and that thing I said about that one person… and that thought I had just before coming into Mass… and… well none of that is THAT bad.
And so it can become a habit to just SAY the confession without hearing or considering the words. I am only speaking for myself, here. The truth is, I have sinned against God in what I have thought, and said to my Brother or Sister, and in what I have done. Oh, and then there is that stuff that I haven’t done when the opportunity was presented to me by the Holy Spirit, or in genuine need.
It’s kind of like I approach the idea of confession as something I don’t really need to do. After all, hasn't Jesus already forgiven me? Of course He has. But my confession is not for Him. It’s for me. Everything Jesus calls me to do, is for me, so I can be Him in the world. So I can be transformed.
So this weekend, I thought I would just do God a favor and really think about what I have to confess. And this is what my Heavenly Father gently said to me. “My son, don’t do me any favors.” WHAT? I mean I am trying to do this with the right spirit and… I was cut off. He said to me, as I was kneeling there, “Love me first. Serve me as I have called you. Pour out your life for your neighbors by loving them as yourself. Do this because you love Me. I have given you life and love so you can do these things. Just do them. Don’t throw your favors on top of it. I don’t need your favors. I don’t need anything. I want your love.”
And so we come to the Discipleship Group Gospel story this week. Peter was broken when he denied Jesus the third time as the rooster crowed, and Jesus looked at him from across the court yard of the High Priest’s house. So many other incredible, terrible things were happening just then. But Jesus looked at Peter as Peter’s heart broke and he fled from the face of his sin. And even as Jesus was about to be taken from that place to be lied about, to be falsely accused, to be falsely testified against, to be spit on, to be struck, to be beaten, to be dragged from place to place, to be beaten again and ridiculed, to have His words of love twisted into accusations by those He came to serve and save, to be beaten to within a breath of His life, to be made to carry a great cross and finally to be crucified, He prayed for Peter, so that he would be strong for his brothers.
My Lord, what love is this? God doesn't need our favors of service or good intentions. He doesn’t want them. He wants us and our love. He wants us to grow and to fulfill the purpose He has given us. He wants us to follow. It’s simple. But it is really hard to do. You have to confess you are not where you need to be so you can come along.
In our Discipleship Group we finished the Arrest of Jesus and the Denial of Peter, from the gospel according to St. Luke 22:39 - 62. In almost everything, Pete is US at our best. Jesus wants us to learn so that we can have the relationship with Him that will allow us to do the things He has called us to do. It’s simple. But it requires us to do, to follow, and to change.
